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This is a fair definition, but some guys would define cruising more loosely: a basic sex hunt, not something you specifically set out to do but rather something you are always doing. We do it on the subway and in the office and anywhere a handsome gentleman might lift his shirt to wipe sweat off his forehead. In our minds, we lift his shirt the rest of the way and tug on the brim of his trousers with our teeth. If you make eye contact with him and discover wordlessly and without complete certainty that you are both interested, then voila! Now all you have to do is work up the courage to talk to him, give him your number, or nod to the exit.

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I was a freshman in college, brand new to sex, and all my friends, left and right, were exploring their anal pleasures with dildos. Our hopes were soon met. I started college a few months after Grindr hit the app store. We all quickly discovered sex via the glowing orange icons on our phones. In the years since, I have learned that there are many gay sex toys out there beyond anal toys, although these are certainly the majority, and anal toys toys are more than substitutions for penises.

When I was 12 years old I had a sleepover I will never forget. Me and my friends Alex and Mitchell were all sleeping over at Alex's house. We had all just woken up and Alex's mom had left us a note in the kitchen "hope you all slept well.